Well-being · · 3 min read
Sleeping together: what shared sleep changes
We spend about a third of our lives asleep, and in a couple, often side by side. For a long time, research studied sleep as an individual matter. It is starting to look at it as a pair.
More REM sleep
A lab study had couples sleep alternately together and apart. When they shared a bed, their REM sleep, the dreaming phase linked to processing emotions, was more abundant and less interrupted, and their sleep cycles tended to synchronise. The study included only twelve young, healthy couples: a promising result that needs confirming.
Sleep as a shared behaviour
A review of the research suggests seeing sleep as a couple behaviour. A calm relationship is associated with better sleep, and a bad night with more irritability and tension the next day. Each influences the other: looking after one often helps the other.
What if one of you snores?
Sleeping together is not an obligation. If snoring or very different schedules spoil one partner's nights, sleeping apart on some nights is not a failure: it is a way of looking after you both. The time spent together before falling asleep can stay precious. And loud snoring deserves a doctor's opinion.
Sources
- Drews H.J., Wallot S., Brysch P., Berger-Johannsen H., Weinhold S.L., Mitkidis P., Baier P.C., Lechinger J., Roepstorff A., Göder R. (2020). Bed-sharing in couples is associated with increased and stabilized REM sleep and sleep-stage synchronization. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11, 583. doi.org
- Troxel W.M. (2010). It's more than sex: exploring the dyadic nature of sleep and implications for health. Psychosomatic Medicine, 72(6), 578–586. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
This article is for information only and does not replace a doctor's advice, especially with heavy snoring or sleep disorders. The lab study cited involves a small number of couples.
A rhythm chosen together, surprises in turn, discreet reminders.