Relationship · · 3 min read
After a baby arrives: finding each other again
A baby turns everything upside down: sleep, schedules, the way you see each other. It is normal for intimate life to change, and studies show you are far from alone.
A stage that weighs on every couple
A study followed more than 200 couples for eight years. Among those who became parents, relationship satisfaction dropped clearly after the birth. But couples who stayed childless also saw a decline, a more gradual one: time wears on every couple, and a birth mostly speeds things up.
Very common concerns
A study of new-parent couples, between three months and a year after the birth, found that the large majority of mothers and fathers reported intimate concerns: low desire, tiredness, little time together. The heavier these concerns weighed, the less satisfied couples were with their relationship. Talking about them lightens them.
Moving at your pace
There is no right time to resume an intimate life: everyone moves at their own pace, with the advice of the professional who follows you. In the meantime, small moments count: ten minutes together without screens, a hug, a message during the day. Planning a moment, even a short one, is a reminder that the couple exists alongside the parents.
Sources
- Doss B.D., Rhoades G.K., Stanley S.M., Markman H.J. (2009). The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality: an 8-year prospective study. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(3), 601–619. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov
- Schlagintweit H.E., Bailey K., Rosen N.O. (2016). A new baby in the bedroom: frequency and severity of postpartum sexual concerns and their associations with relationship satisfaction in new parent couples. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 13(10), 1455–1465. doi.org
This article is for information only and does not replace the advice of a midwife, doctor or psychologist. If you feel lasting sadness after the birth, talk to a professional.
A rhythm chosen together, surprises in turn, discreet reminders.