Relationship · · 3 min read
Phones in bed: the couple's quiet intruder
Phones follow us everywhere, even under the covers. A last message, a video, the news: nothing serious in itself. But studies show these small interruptions count in a couple.
"Technoference"
A study of women in relationships measured how often technology interrupted their time together: a meal, a conversation, a moment to relax. Most reported it at least now and then. The more frequent the interruptions, the more conflict about them and the less satisfying the relationship was rated.
"Phubbing"
The word comes from "phone" and "snubbing". A US study showed that feeling ignored in favour of your partner's phone was linked to more arguments and lower satisfaction, and indirectly to lower mood. These are observed links, but they point the same way from one study to the next.
Simple rules, decided together
The point is not to ban screens, but to choose moments without them. Leaving phones out of the bedroom, in a drawer during dinner, or switching on a focus mode on the evening of your moment. What matters is deciding it together, not blaming the other.
Sources
- McDaniel B.T., Coyne S.M. (2016). “Technoference”: the interference of technology in couple relationships and implications for women's personal and relational well-being. Psychology of Popular Media Culture, 5(1), 85–98. scholar.google.com
- Roberts J.A., David M.E. (2016). My life has become a major distraction from my cell phone: partner phubbing and relationship satisfaction among romantic partners. Computers in Human Behavior, 54, 134–141. scholar.google.com
This article is for information only and does not replace professional advice. The studies cited are observational and focus on specific groups; they do not prove that screens cause the difficulties.
A rhythm chosen together, surprises in turn, discreet reminders.